Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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