Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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