You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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