dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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