i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have aggressive nipples.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
