why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize