so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
