you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
