It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
