dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
