you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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