So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
