my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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