i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
