What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
