I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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