worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
