now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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