did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize