She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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