Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
