I wannas sexs uuuuu
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
