Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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