belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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