Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize