Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
