i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
