I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize