hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He better not be in your backpack
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
