I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
