things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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