this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
