I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
