My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize