If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Why is your signature on my underwear?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
