Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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