well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
