my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
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