Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize