your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
