let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Randomize
