Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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