can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
