can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Someone came in the potted fern
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
