I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Pants are for mortals
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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