And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
so much tequila, so little girl.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
