I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
