He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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