Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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