were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
