just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i now understand why vodka
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize