i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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