You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
