Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
