hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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