Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
