I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
