You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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