Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
