No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
smell my finger.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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