Got a toothbrush?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
