I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize