My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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