Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
