So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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