no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
