He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
