It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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