Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
