I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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