how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
